Sunday, February 27, 2005

Questions but no Answers

If I could change places with anyone in ths world, would I? No.
I know this, I accept this. Nobody has a better life than I do, no one has more abilities than I, just because it is me. Each one of us is unique in our abilities and our thoguhts, and our lives........ our lives are all different and yet all the same. We want the same thing - happiness, though we each try our own different ways of getting this happiness.
Then y do I try so hard to convince myself that if others were offered the chance, they "should want" to trade places with me. Y do I feel the need to feel like my life is better to others. It is not. I know it.
But I still try. Effectively that is what it all boils down to. Topping the class, looking good, being friendly, being popular - all ways of saying - See I am better than the others. I forget that it is not the others who I am trying to convince but myself.
And what happens the day that I do realise that I don't have to prove my point any more? What happens to my ambition? Why top? Why workout? Would I still want to change the world if I knew that I wouldn't get the credit for it? Maybe ... Maybe not.

Unfortunately I don't know. Do I want to change the world in the first place? Or is it just my ego wanting to be acknowleged ? I know what being famous is like, and I know for sure that it is not for me. But I do want to know that I could be famous if I wanted to. That the lack of fame is a lack of desire, and not a lack of ability.

If I could do anything right now, would I be doing absolutely the same thing that I am doing right now? NO. Unfortunate but true. I can't really do what I want to, cause it is not practical - not possible. So is this a compromise? Not really. I am enjoying my life the way it is. I have amazing friends, I enjoy my work, I am learning a lot. Shouldn't that be enough ? Do I have the right to have an almost perfect life, and then crib cause it is not actually perfect? Doesnt seem right to me. But then again, the unreasonable man changes the world, doesn't he?

8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A friend of mine used to believe -
    "what others can, I can do with relative ease; what I can't, others cannot even dream of."

    On other thoughts....A lot depends on what you define as happiness. If happiness means providing for others, everyone seems to be happy...

    And what amazes me is that we are actually proud of our abilities, which are incidental anyways. I know I'd be happy if I won a lottery, but would I be proud?

    etc etc.

    ps: deleted/reposted comment to fix typo :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. the best part of your apparent problem is that you have come to terms with who/what you are, or can be.
    good, better, best are all relative to what you define; or rather what definition you accept.
    we are all trying to live, and this involves at least some form of social behaviour. whatever u've said, can all be put down to this.
    as far as motivations go, you need to realise whether you've accomplised all that u wanted to. one's greatest critic is oneself, so that essentially means u never measure up to what u think is possible.
    u can't change the world, its too huge. and takes too long. try changing within. ur personal world is within your grasp. that kinda helps change everything around. its a ripple effect.
    fame is a matter of choice, and lastly, its only when u crib that you find the answers.
    at least ur happy where you are. thats not afforded to most people. but someday, make that dream, that "what you would rather do right now", come true. that will then give you real satisfaction.
    or, at least thats what i like to believe.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Starts with an A, you'll guess meMonday, March 07, 2005 7:14:00 PM

    When you realise that you don't have to prove a point anymore, you turn to enjoying life. You relax, do your own work, and have fun with life.
    "Would I still want to change the world if I knew that I wouldn't get the credit for it?"
    Is everything you do simply to gain credit? Simply for others' appreciation? Why not do something only for yourself? Do somethign just because your heart asks you to, or your irrationality commands you to?
    To borrow from Troy: You think you have proved everything to the world, but there is still a sacrifice to be made to become a legend.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I still do that - still have fun, do irrational stuff - from reading a novel / watching a movie in the middle of exams, to ... other stuff that I'm not really mentioning :)) That's why my life is almost perfect, with the lack of perfection only implying that I still don't know what would make it completely perfect.
    And the billion dollar question is really that : Do I want to change the world cause I want to - for the beauty of it, or for others' appreciation??
    I don't know....

    But I am happy with life right now - that much I do know - and that is enough right now.... :))

    And now I think I do know who you are - adding to the perfection of life itself :))
    The question is - will you keep the suspense ???

    ReplyDelete
  6. Life is never completely perfect, because the moment you reach your old definition of perfection, you realise that you have a capability for more, and set new heights. The key is in enjoying semi-perfection to the fullest.

    You said "Do I want to change the world cause I want to..." which is a recursive statement. Of course you change the world because you want to: even if it is for others' appreciation, then its others' appreciation that you want. So finally it boils down to there being a want on your part.

    It's good that you are happy right now, and though I can't see you, it's nice to hear that.

    Maybe you know who I am, maybe you don't. I'd rather call myself 'A' for now :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Why the secrecy :((.....
    While I guess, I can't confirm... and that's driving me crazy.

    Give me some hints atleast.... :))

    Maybe the fact that you can't see me is a hint, but something more obvious please ...

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. C'mon. Its nice for you to have someone known yet unknown to converse with :)

    No hints, sorry. I enjoy reading your blog...

    ReplyDelete