Looking 4 Me

American Beauty

2011-09-26T07:35:00.000+04:00

Once you give a piece of your heart to someone, you never really get it back. It might break and cause you pain, but the love never goes away, does it? The good thing is that heart break removes all expectations, and time removes the hurt and the pain, leaving behind only fond memories and love - just love, free of desire or hope or want.

It really is hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in this world.

A place of my own

2011-07-12T07:32:00.000+04:00

Michael Pollan wanted a space to work - a place to be alone in the woods with his thoughts. And he wanted to build it himself - to move away from the abstraction of words and writing, to the reality of building something with one's own hands. "A place of my own" chronicles his quest.

While the subject of his book is building a room from scratch, it reminded me of my daily cooking. I think of cooking as something that I do to get away from thoughts, and into the physical world. The food I make exists in real life, in a way that my research does not. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.

And like Michael Pollan, I too found it difficult to get away from the world of words. The cooking hobby leads to reading cooking blogs, tips, stories. And to forming communities of people sharing grocery shopping, menu plans, and success recipes.

Pollan finishes the roof, walls, windows, but eventually concludes that a thing you build is never complete. Reality changes you just like you changed the dream into literal existence. The journey, destination, and meaning of existence get intertwined along the way, until you are defined by the thing you were trying to define.

A thought-provoking read. (Thanks Wolf for a neat gift.)

The Rules of Improvisation That Will Change Your Life and Reduce Belly Fat

2011-07-07T20:41:00.001+04:00

From Tina Fey's Bossypants :

The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we’re improvising and I say, “Freeze, I have a gun,” and you say, “That’s not a gun. It’s your finger. You’re pointing your finger at me,” our improvised scene has ground to a halt. But if I say, “Freeze, I have a gun!” and you say, “The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!” then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in fact a Christmas gun. Now, obviously in real life you’re not always going to agree with everything everyone says. But the Rule of Agreement reminds you to “respect what your partner has created” and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you. As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. “No, we can’t do that.” “No, that’s not in the budget.” “No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar.” What kind of way is that to live?

The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree and then add something of your own. If I start a scene with “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you just say, “Yeah…” we’re kind of at a standstill. But if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “What did you expect? We’re in hell.” Or if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “Yes, this can’t be good for the wax figures.” Or if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “I told you we shouldn’t have crawled into this dog’s mouth,” now we’re getting somewhere. To me YES, AND means don’t be afraid to contribute. It’s your responsibility to contribute. Always make sure you’re adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.

The next rule is MAKE STATEMENTS. This is a positive way of saying “Don’t ask questions all the time.” If we’re in a scene and I say, “Who are you? Where are we? What are we doing here? What’s in that box?” I’m putting pressure on you to come up with all the answers. In other words: Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles. We’ve all worked with that person. That person is a drag. It’s usually the same person around the office who says things like “There’s no calories in it if you eat it standing up!” and “I felt menaced when Terry raised her voice.”

MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice. Instead of saying “Where are we?” make a statement like “Here we are in Spain, Dracula.” Okay, “Here we are in Spain, Dracula” may seem like a terrible start to a scene, but this leads us to the best rule:

THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, only opportunities. If I start a scene as what I think is very clearly a cop riding a bicycle, but you think I am a hamster in a hamster wheel, guess what? Now I’m a hamster in a hamster wheel. I’m not going to stop everything to explain that it was really supposed to be a bike. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up being a police hamster who’s been put on “hamster wheel” duty because I’m “too much of a loose cannon” in the field. In improv there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world’s greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.

I love Tina Fey, and Bossypants was a great book. Her "prayer for my daughter" is already doing the internet rounds, but this passage really appealed to me, mostly because I think its a great philosophy. So the next time someone asks me to do something "crazy", I'm totally saying "yes, and ..."

* Improv will not reduce belly fat.

Loving a Men you

2011-04-10T05:10:00.006+04:00

Last week, I interviewed for a scholarship. And in the middle of all the serious questions about my research and computer science, the interviewer wanted to know about my hobbies. I thought it was too neurotic to mention in an interview, but one of my favorite hobbies is to read restaurant menus. I think I could (and do) read menus every day for hours on end.

Reading a menu is like peeping into a giant world of possibilities. There could be a 100 different choices you could make, and in a 100 parallel universes, you could be trying out each one of them. A menu then is a summary of all the great choices you could be making in the next 5 minutes. And for a foodie like me, who can imagine each dish in her head, all piping hot and spicy, or silky smooth and chocolaty, a menu is very often more fun than the meal itself.

Take for example, IHOP. I love pancakes and have wanted to visit an IHOP for 2 years now, but have not yet tried it out. If and when I actually get there, I can eat only one thing. Maybe I will get the New York cheesecake pancakes. Or the strawberry banana danish crepes. Or the veggie overload. But I certainly can't eat all of the above.

I can look at their menu and imagine eating it all though. Or imagine cooking it all :P

Or maybe go to Per Se's menu, and wonder if the food will live up to the hype. Or will it be as gross as it sometimes sounds? Would winter be a better time to check out the tasting menu or summer?

Beyond a particular point, a menu stops being about the food, and becomes more about the adventure of it all. Like virgin territories, unexplored menus provide excitement, danger, and the thrill of new experiences. Its about imagination more than taste. About dreaming more than living.

Oh how I love menus !

Nicknames et al

2011-03-04T23:57:00.003+04:00

I don't know if you noticed, but blogging has slowed down for the last one year or so. And no, it's not because "I've been so busy living life, I don't have time to blog". Life has not been super eventful - no books or kids have been produced, no new passion or religion has been discovered, and no life-threatening stunts have been tried.

Well ... one potentially life-threatening stunt was tried, almost two years ago. I got married. And one of the well known side effects of this marriage thing was that all the joy and fun in life now involves The Husband. So all the cute stories, the funny stories, the exciting stories - they all involve him.

And as is well known in the blogging community, it's awkward to keep using "The Husband" each time you want to blog. It seemed to me that writing a story without naming the hero was impossible, so all blogging was shelved while I hunted for a suitable name. And the hunt for a suitable nickname has been on for the last two years now. (Yes, the PhD has made me such a procrastination expert, I've been procrastinating this too.)

The standard ones like TH (The Husband), SO, do not reflect the bliss and ardor that I think the nickname should display. Hubby is a little too ... cute. HWMBO seems a little outlandish, even (if I may say so) a little bit untrue.

So today when I went to Frugal Girl(FG)'s website, I noticed she referred to Mr. FG, and I thought ... thats kind of a cute nickname. Thats what I will do too! The blogging can now restart finally!

And thats when I realized what my blogging nickname was.

Any other recommendations for nicknames anyone?

New Years 2011

2011-01-16T20:42:00.003+04:00

The new year started with a bang. Karaoke, sev puri, pani puri, ragda pattice, cake, pulao, dancing, falling, laughing, pictionary and taboo. And fireworks over Manhattan at midnight.

Sleep at 4am, wake up at 10.

Cake for breakfast. Cake for lunch :)

Dining table

2010-07-28T01:38:00.001+04:00

The first piece of furniture my parents bought themselves was a dining table. It was the most useful thing they could think of buying. It was used to study, stack books, work, cut vegetables, write letters, organize bills, make art projects for school, and of course, to eat dinner together. That table lasted us 30 years – with one re-lamination of the surface along the way.

TJ and I just bought our first piece of furniture too – and I hope we have ours for the same time as well.

Monday afternoon

2010-04-20T10:04:00.000+04:00

The sun was out yesterday, the weather was nice and warm, a pleasant change from the cold cold weekend just gone by. And I was lying down on the grass at Flagstaff hill. Looking up at the sun through the leaves of some really pretty tree.

The grass was warm, the breeze was cool, and you could almost hear the kids playing and running around through the park (there weren't any kids though).

There was a smile on my face. And TJ next to me. It was the perfect afternoon.

The Good Body

2010-03-02T23:57:00.000+04:00

When I was a little girl people used to ask me, What do you want to be when you grow up? Good, I would say. I want to be good. Becoming good was harder than becoming a doctor or an astronaut or a lifeguard. There are tests to pass to become those things - you have to learn dissection or conquer gravity or practice treading water. Becoming good was not like that. It was abstract. It felt completely out of reach. It became the only thing that mattered to me. If I could be good, everything would be all right. I would fit in. I would be popular. I would skip death and go straight to heaven. If you asked me now, what this means, to be good, I still don't know exactly.

...

I could never be good. This feeling of badness lives in every part of my being. Call it anxiety or despair. Call it guilt or shame. It occupies me everywhere. The older, seemingly clearer and wiser I get, the more devious, globalized and terrorist the badness becomes.

-- 'The Good Body' by Eve Ensler.

Chicago 2010

2010-02-16T07:38:00.006+04:00

I was supposed to visit Chicago for a meeting on Wednesday, but thanks to the multiple storms that hit Pittsburgh, my flight got canceled and I got there on Thursday. The good thing was that I had Suyash for company, and we had a fun time at the meetings. In the evening, Devi gave us a tour of TTI, and took us to dinner at Giordano's for Chicago-style pizza.

Tejaswi came to Chicago on Friday morning, and we met up in the afternoon, once my meetings were done. Thanks to all the Valentine day hoopla, we had got gifts for each other - I had got him an early easter egg and a cute blue toy for the child in him, and he got me magnetic jewellery. We met Sandeep in the evening, and went to Devon street and the magnificient mile.

On Saturday, we mostly did good food - Victory's Banner, where pretty women in sarees served us french toast and uppama, and Bongo room, with the gorgeous corner table and sunlight. We ended the day with dinner at a Moroccan restaurant, which had the best "Indian-ish" food I have ever had, and beer tasting at Goose Island.

Sunday started with a walk to the Greek village for some delicious Kasseri and Feta artopita, while we waited out our hour long wait for breakfast at Meli's. We then went to Millenium park and took some touristy pics, before going off to the art museum to look at all their Monet paintings (they have so many more than the MET !) And on our way back to the airport, we decided to stop at the very interesting looking Earwax cafe for an evening snack with Sandeep.

Chicago was cold, but gorgeous. Since I was on holiday, I splurged and decided to waste a lot of water on my very first (watermelon flavored) bubble bath. The sun was fine, the food was awesome, and the company was the best. Lets hope for more holidays very soon.

Moments in Life

2009-08-21T01:14:00.003+04:00

Incorporating multiple scenes from the protagonist's life with a song in the background is a classical movie-making technique, to show friendship, romantic love, or even tragedy. The title song from 'Dil Chahta Hai', where the friends go to Goa tries to represent youthful friendship, 'Sajna aa bhi jaa' from Waise Bhi Hote Hai shows romantic love, and Up! shows a life loved together.

There are countless more of course, and every time I watch one of these, I feel happy for the people on screen, but it also makes me feel empty. My life seems so slow in comparison, without such intense moments, where you make silly faces to see your shadows in the sun or put atta on the love of your life. It seems full of classes, and experiment running, and cooking and eating out at random places, and planning and grocery shopping.

But last week, I sat and visualized the "high points" of my life - times spent laughing with friends, planning surprise parties, traveling together, playing antakshari, and I realized that "my song" was much bigger and more intense and more fun than the stuff I saw on screen - its just that putting the video together takes so much more time. In fact, the New York trips alone made for enough footage for an entire movie - I just wish I could have recorded it and kept it in my memory forever. :)

12th Standard / 1st Year

2009-08-19T17:29:00.000+04:00

Samosas at Gurukripa. And a single gulab-jamun.
Coming out of the LCC to see your friends waiting there.
Watching Pinky apply eye-liner. Learning tips from Chandini about make-up/fashion/life.
Matunga roads. Phone conversations.
That first crush - of that first crush.
Mom shouting that "its 2 am, who are you talking to?" Replying "noone, its the television noise".
The sofa, the red sofa? Monginis pastries.
Truly, madly, deeply.
Srihari, Horizons, and the rock band.
The park with the kids and the little boy who pulled his pants down.
Spring dosa.
The sitting place under the bridge at Matunga station.
Missing the rain dance.
Missing the gang of 14.
"Forgetting" the trip to Lonavala. Getting thrown into the pool in jeans.
The extremely dumb Valentine's day gifts. The 45 minute wait.
Agrawal classes. Not eating Monginis pastries on the way back.
The queue in SIES for paying fees with Shawn.
Physics lab. Chemistry lab.
Shopping at Bandra.
beautiful_18f. McDonalds, and my purple stripe tshirt with dark blue flared pants. My soft toy?
Singing Eminem in engineering admission lines.
Ragging.
That horrendous brown gown. The first (and only) spaghetti.
The HN forest.
The end of innocence. It all starts with a smile :)

Swades

2009-07-30T08:05:00.002+04:00

Yes, Mohan is educated, and American-returned, and (presumably) Delhi-educated, and he brings about a real difference in the lives of these vilagers.

But why can't Geeta ? She is Delhi-educated too, she believes in equality of the gender, and abolishing the caste system, she believes in making a difference, trying to improve the country etc. etc.

Then why can she not be the person to get new students to school, convince the village elders to let lower caste children study in the same school or anything useful in the village? Why does she have to be a side-prop, who does nothing more than give speeches to potential husbands? He even has to save the school that she runs !

Its a good movie, but this fact annoys me too much to enjoy the movie.

2009-05-17T01:38:00.001+04:00

Yesterday night, I attended a party that ended when the police showed up and asked us to shut the music. That was a first for me :)

Facebook Government

2009-04-19T20:13:00.004+04:00

Apparently, facebook is letting "we, the users" vote on their new site governance policies - the Statement of Rights and Responsibilities and Facebook Principles. Woah ! Thats like the online equivalent of a constitution, ain't it?

If the vote gets accepted, maybe kids in school will be taught the 10 Facebook principles of:

Freedom to Share and Connect
Ownership and Control of Information
Free Flow of Information
Fundamental Equality
Social Value
Open Platforms and Standards
Fundamental Service
Common Welfare
Transparent Process
One World

In 1989, we began this new world of the world wide web, in 2009, we begin to govern it as a world wide democracy?

P.S. : I voted for the new statement, simply because it states that the IP of content posted to facebook will belong to the users. It bothered me though that the new site governance policies also say that facebook reserves the right to not acknowledge that some content is a paid-for service or an advertisement, even though I have no clue whether this is a standard practice for all websites.

Revolutionary Road

2009-04-16T20:29:00.002+04:00

Hope. Dreams. Want. Emotional Intensity. Revolutionary Road was one of the most involving movies I have seen for a long time.

You can't help but feel for Kate Winslet as she wishes to get out of her current life, as she hopes that Paris will be the thing that will revive her life, her marriage, bring her and her husband closer to the destiny they deserve.

You can't help but wonder whether Leonardo DiCaprio deserves all of this, as he tries to get out of work, sleeps with some other woman, complains about his job, and generally gets disinterested in making more out of his life.

But then he gets a chance to be inspired, a chance to be something bigger than who is he right now, and unfortunately, his chance is not Kate's chance. She will remain there, in the same place, with the same things, the dream of Paris just a dream.

And it hurts. On so many levels, that even 10 days after watching the movie, I can still cry for her.
I'm sorry Kate that things didn't work out as planned. You were a free spirit, you deserved more of life than you got. I wish this was just a story, I wish that as I watched the movie, I didn't feel for all the people who's lives this must have been, wanting, deserving, but not getting.

Revolutionary Road is truly a must watch.

The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted

2009-04-16T20:10:00.002+04:00

The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted is a "feel-good book" that I picked up by chance in the Carnegie library.
Its a short story book, and the title story is about a woman, who walks out of her weight watchers meeting, and decides to eat whatever she wants, the whole day. She gets a dozen donuts (each one described in exquisite detail), hot dogs, a bacon cheeseburger with fries, malted chocolate, cheetos, icecream, steak, apple crisp and crumb topped cherry pie, a martini, baked potato with butter, bacon, and sour cream; and every piece of food she puts in her mouth is described with wonder and happiness. She even describes the joy of eating unhealthy food as almost sexual (but more yeasty and better).

I suddely realized what kind of a story it is - its like food porn - you watch someone fulfilling your deepest desires, and wish that you were getting some of that action too. And it struck me how just imagining someone eat all that awesome food made me happy, even though it really should have left me wanting it myself.

I really liked the story, really liked the idea, but then I reached the end. Unlike sex, food cannot be just celebrated in a story without regret. You eat, you enjoy, but then you cry.

She said "I would like to end this by saying that it felt really good to cheat all day, to eat whatever I wanted. But it didn't. All that happened was that I felt hollow-eyed."

I'm sorry Elizabeth Berg, but there have been many many days in my life when I have eaten without regret, and I have been happy at the end of it. Happy to finish the entire chocolate bar, happy to sit with a pack of red-spicy banana wafers and finish it, happy to order a cheese pav-bhaji with extra butter pav and top it off with kulfi and falooda.

For someone who writes feel-good stories, how could you end your first story with a moral that eating good is bad ? How could you leave your readers with the guilt of that woman, with the shame of not being able to control themselves ? Do you think we are not mature enough to be able to recognize a fantasy for what it is? It felt like watching a porn video which ends with the stars regretting their ways and deciding to stay faithful from now on. Disappointing.

Rain

2009-04-03T22:29:00.002+04:00

I love it when it rains. But not just for hot tea and pakoras, or for the smell of fresh wet earth. The rains come and wash away all the pain, sorrows, and sins accumulated through long, never-ending days in the bright harsh glare of the sun. They give new life, being hope, add color to the world. They even dim the skies, so that the bright green of the grass and the rainbow colored flowers get their chance to shine. Even the barren empty branches of the trees seem to have a freshly washed and happy look about them.

But best of all, the rains let you look up at the sky, without fear of being blinded for your arrogance. They make the sky seem a little more in reach, they let you hope for more.

Its raining here in Pittsburgh today, and I start afresh, with new promises, and new excitement. Maybe spring will be here quickly after all.

The SuperBowl

2009-02-02T09:03:00.002+04:00

It was an awesome awesome match ! The Pittsburgh Steelers took an early lead when they scored a field goal in the first five minutes of play, and a touchdown in the first minute of the second quarter to make the score 10-0. The Cardinals got a touchdown soon after, and just before half-time, the ball was right at the goal line, with the Cardinals about to score. 17 seconds on the scoreboard, and the quarterback throws the ball, but one of the guys from the Pittsburgh defense, James Harrison, caught the ball, and he starts running towards the Steelers goal line, and he actually ran the entire 100 yards without being stopped, converting an expected Cardinal touchdown to a Steelers touchdown instead !

This was when we thought the match was over - the score was like 17-7. But it wasn't. The cardinals went on to make another touchdown in the 4th quarter, and then another in the last 2 minutes of play and pulled ahead to 23-20 ! And again, I thought the game was over - there were only 2 minutes left ! And again, it wasn't. With 35 seconds to go, the Steelers scored ! By then, all of us here were jumping and praying and screaming at the top of our lungs ! There were 35 seconds, and the Arizona Cardinals had to advance 60 yards, and they almost did - but not quite. (This time I didn't assume anything!) Till the last second, the fight was on for the championship, but a lucky break gave us the win !

The game tonight was really played right till the end - it was all about not freaking out about the clock, or about the huge lead the opposing team had. It was about the 100 yard sprint by Harrison, and the 64 yard sprint by Fitzgerald, the almost-out-of-the-line-but-not-quite catch by Holmes, and the really good defense that the Cardinals showed when the Steelers reached the goal line 3 minutes into the game, stopping them there for a field goal instead of a touchdown.

After the game, we went to UPitt, and watched the crowds go wild ! Lots of screaming and fireworks and bonfires, and totally wild stuff. There were like a million people there, waving their terrible towels, singing, blocking the roads, screaming, celebrating the win ! A lot of people broke road signs, and at least one guy climbed the traffic signal post, and upturned the traffic light. The police turned up eventually, and stood in front of the celebrating crowd, asking them to go off the road. But the people kept screaming, and eventually, the police had to back off ! That was one sight I had never imagined seeing in the US.

It was like an impromptu ganpati procession on the roads, all the noise and dancing, but unlike the ganpati crowd, this was a very well-behaved crowd towards other people.

Tonight was totally an awesome night ! I hope I get to see the steelers play again at the superbowl every year :)

2009-01-25T20:16:00.002+04:00

Apparently, eating lunch at a pub is cause for outrage.

Fear. Anger. Shame. I'm tired of feeling all of this. And more.

Is a sense of security in your own country too much to ask for? To know that even if people don't approve of your behavior, they will not attack you in the middle of the day? Even worse, that you will not be made an example to all other "people" of your kind - "lets beat five women up for talking to Muslim men as an example to all other women out there? "

Carnegie Library

2009-01-20T07:02:00.003+04:00

I get 3-4 books from the Carnegie Library every couple of weeks, and invariably the books I want are already checked out. So I put a hold on the book, and get it 2-3 weeks later. It works out well for me because I always have books being requested, and books being delivered. And it makes me feel so good that other people in Pittsburgh read the same stuff as I do... even if I don't know who they are.

Q&A : Vikas Swarup - Requested by 32 people
Things I learned about my dad in therapy : Heather B. Armstrong - requested by 2
Waiter Rant : requested by 124 people
Brisingr : requested by 231
Dreams from my father : requested by 33
Daughters of India - requested by 2

I'm so glad the Carnegie Library is right next door - and I wish there were such libraries in India as well.

Freedom

2009-01-10T08:58:00.004+04:00

I am listening to George Michael right now and remembering my "Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best of George Michael" cassette(s) bought way back in 1999. Singing along to these songs, in the balcony of our "new" house, which had not been renovated then .. feeling guilty about not studying for 12th exams, and thinking about "life" instead.

Singing aloud, pretending to be performing at a concert, slow dancing with an imaginary partner, dreaming about dreams I knew were going to be shattered very soon. Dreaming them cause even then, I could see that it would be the last time I would be thinking such thoughts, making such plans, knowing that one day I would look back and smile at my childish hopes and fears. They seemed so important then - I felt so misunderstood then. Life seemed so complicated, centered as it was around 12th, friends and love.

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be

Freedom indeed.

Center Left?

2009-01-09T08:17:00.003+04:00

Its been 5 days since I have been working out, and I am totally in love with my Jane Fonda video - "center right, center left, center right, center left, piston!" Its fun to jump around and laugh when you miss the steps, and the exercise really makes me feel good, like I'm on a high or something. I never took this endorphins/anandamide thing seriously, but it seems to be totally working.

I'm glad I started this, and I hope I continue for a long time.

Practice Makes Perfect

2009-01-09T01:19:00.004+04:00

New York Times has an article on how top athletes, chess champions, violin players and other famous people from all walks of life are better only because they practiced more, and started younger. Further, they pace themselves - training arduously for say 4 hours a day, and making rest a part of their training schedule. I know the importance of continuous working in research as well, but I wonder if the rest part of it is important as well. A lot of the people I know work continuously, because working makes them happier than doing other things. And this is especially true of the more successful researchers and faculty members. Is the need for a life outside of work really unimportant in research?

Food

2008-12-27T08:58:00.002+04:00

I don't even remember when I started sitting in the kitchen watching my mom cook, and telling her about my day. I certainly never questioned if what we ate was healthy, whether we put too many spices or too few, were we getting enough protein etc. "It was home made food - it must be good" was my reasoning.

But the US changed all that. I met people from other cultures, who ate much unheathier "home made" food, and others who ate much healthier food. I started wondering why "we Indians" always overcook our vegetables. Why "we(I)" need so much salt, why I always want food with more ghee and more spices. I thought about eating less cooked veggies, less salt, more "lentils" ...

I worry so much more about food now than I ever did. I now wonder what the side-effect of all this worrying is. And thus the cycle of positive reinforcement begins?

Circles

2008-12-03T05:50:00.003+04:00

I finally did this year what I spent days and days doing last year.

Looked at the prices of tickets to India. For different dates, different websites.
Wondered what could be, how I could be at home.
I searched, even though I knew I have a deadline, and I can't go home.
I searched, even though I knew all flights will be ridiculously expensive.
I searched, even though I knew it will not be practical for me to go to India for a few more months.

Its at times like these when I hate myself for being a practical person.

Carnegie Mellon Says

2008-11-27T21:30:00.003+04:00

"We are very saddened by the news reports coming from Mumbai and hope that all is well with your family and friends. We are writing today to offer any assistance that Student Affairs may be able to provide.

Given the Thanksgiving break and limited resources on campus please feel free to contact ... (people and phone numbers)

I trust the support of friends here on campus or at home is a source of comfort and I encourage you to rely on others as needed. Again, our sympathies are with you and we welcome the opportunity to assist."

Its Thanksgiving, and still someone cared to arrange people to call, and mail people. :)

One More

2008-11-27T01:19:00.002+04:00

Shooting on VT station. Running away from the sound of "firecrackers". Getting shot. The media making you stop so that they can get a shot of your bleeding hand, before letting you get to a hospital. Grenades on the road, grenades at the Taj. Being stuck in a hotel, knowing that there is firing going on on the other floor. Police dying. Smoke, fire. Mumbai burns again :(
1993, 2003, 2006, 2008.
Bangalore, Delhi, Ahmedabad, Jaipur, Mumbai.
Whats happening to our country ? How do we fix this ?

A Fine Balance

2008-11-14T23:09:00.002+04:00

I read A Fine Balance almost two months ago. But the book still haunts me. In the middle of a cup of coffee, I stop and wonder about Dina, and whether things could have been different with her. About whether, if she had pleaded to keep the tailor's machines, she would have been in her own house, she would have been happier.

When I am lying in bed, just about to fall asleep, I wonder about Om and Ishwar - how much they saw, how much they hoped. I wonder what they felt all that struggle was worth.

I think about the book, and feel miserable even now. Hurt for the characters, for their families, for the rest of our country, and I wish, like a small child, that things got better. The last time I connected so much with a book was Shantaram, but at least Shantaram was a happy book. It gave me things to think about, and also to hope for.

A fine balance, on the other hand, left me wanting. Wanting a parent to come and fix this world now. Wanting to not take responsibility for what I see in our world, yet left me knowing that I must - who will, if not us?

Highly highly recommended.

Microbe Hunters

2008-11-09T23:37:00.005+04:00

Microbe Hunters is an awesome book ! It tells you about passion in research, about excitement, about success and failure. But more importantly, it talks about scientists - the methodical ones, doing their slow experiments, verifying each step 10 times to remove all doubts, and never jumping to the wrong conclusions, and the other type - the passionate type, who jumps to conclusions, believes in intuition, and putting an idea in the scientific community, waiting for others to build on it, and actually prove the result.

Microbe Hunters gave me hope. Hope that different kinds of people can succeed at the same thing. Hope that if you keep pushing at the rock, it will move - one inch at a time. And it showed me a completely new way to think and write about research. After all, isn't it about the people as much as about the scientific method?

It is an old old book - it was written way back in 1926, and its supposed to have the racist undertones of its times. But its such a beautiful book, so passionate, and exciting, that how does it matter, that 80 years ago, the author thought the white man was supreme ?

5 years

2008-10-09T07:36:00.001+04:00

A really long time, but not enough to stop missing someone. But then again, an entire life isn't enough, is it?

Networking with CTOs @ Grace Hopper

2008-10-02T23:42:00.010+04:00

One of the events that I attended today at Grace Hopper was networking with CTOs for students. 15 minutes spent with one CTO and 6 students, 4 such meetings, and some networking over lunch. Some of the really cool people I met :

1. Sophie Vandebroek, Xerox
2. Rebecca Parsons, Thoughtworks
3. Per-Kristian (Kris) Halvorsen, Intuit
4. Greg Papadopoulous, Sun Microsystems
5. Nan Mattai, Rockwell Collins Engineering & Technology
6. Dan Reed, Microsoft

In 2006, I read and got really inspired by this article, and I was so excited to meet Sophie, that I stood in line 30 minutes in advance, to make sure I could find seating on her table. And I wasn't disappointed at all. Sophie was very relaxed, confident, and very much the image of an extremely successful woman. She even has a style statement ! (plain suits and silk scarves) One of the big messages I got from Sophie was to dream big, and talk to people about your dreams. Very often, I don't like sharing what I want to try because I am scared that it will fail, but her point that only when you tell people what you are doing, will they offer to help you, really hit home. She had told her interviewer in her first interview at Xerox that her goal was to be the CTO of Xerox, and that really impressed me a lot.

She also talked about working on a single project for 5-6 years to build your credibility as a technical person(depth), and then once you start advancing in your career, making lateral moves to ensure you have breadth across a wide spectrum of technology, that will help you advance further up the ladder.

Nan Mattai also talked about the importance of having credibility as a technical person, before aiming to be a technical leader, and about the importance of mentors. She didn't have the "ambition" to be a CTO before starting work, and she said it was all about working hard, and having fun, and not worrying too much about the big picture, and where you are going :) It was an interesting contrast for sure.

Rebecca Parsons was focused on the technological challenges, and keeping up with mega-trends in the industry, so your company doesn't get "surprised" by new innovations in the world.

Greg was the typical "successful silicon valley" person. Relaxed, tanned, "fun-loving", the "I don't know why/how am I so rich/successful" type of person. But that was true of all 3 male CTOs. The whole "its no big deal", "I just had kept having fun and suddenly I was successful" was what all three of them emphasized (and it was also something neither of the women mentioned).

All the CTOs I met talked about having courage, the ability to handle failure, dreaming big, perseverance, etc. However, all three women treated their position with "respect". Rebecca focused on technical challenges, Nan talked about how her success was unexpected, and Sophie of course spoke about ambition, but they all acknowledged all the work that they did to get where they were. The emphasis on the journey was present throughout, and completely missing from the stories of the men. It made me wonder why.

India Trip - Home

2008-09-03T06:59:00.003+04:00

How do you write about being at home after a year? Having the good tea that Jisha makes, or talking to mom face-to-face, eating some absolutely brilliant food, till you are completely full, but still want some more? Spending time at home, just being with mom is the most relaxing thing ever !

But besides that my stay at home also had a lot of fun ! I met Aniket who came to meet me, even though he was in India for such a short time as well, and Kuldeep, who stayed over for a night as well, and it felt great meeting them after such a long time. Kuldeep and I went to the airport to receive Tejaswi, and we sat outside discussing economics and gas prices, and friends, and computer science while we waited for the flight to arrive. Finally, Neela visited me as well, and it felt awesome talking to her after so long ! And she got me some really pretty earrings as well. :)

That one week was a lot of fun - from shopping for skirts, to eating sizzlers with my family at Cream Centre and icecream at Naturals, and the Chronicles of Narnia, and meeting Raj Massi, and watching Kanyadaan, and eating at the Vile Parle khaau galli, and Red Light, and the Chinese dinner, and Antimony, and walking along the Queen's necklace, and shopping for paintings and meeting Dr Jehangir, and going to Shoppers Stop and RAIT, and the mango juice and the pav bhaji and dahi chaat at Sadguru. Its a blur of memories, one better than the other. My favorite one would be being at the airport though, and grinning, and then grinning some more - so happy to be back home :) Thinking of that moment still makes me smile.

Jisha's Visit

2008-08-04T05:12:00.003+04:00

Jisha visited me in Pittsburgh over the weekend, and we had awesome fun ! The first day she slept for 18 hours(with a short break in between for cake) before I finally woke her up :P, and we went for a nice lunch at Bravo, followed by the movie Hancock and some shopping at the Waterfront. I got my 2 new kadhais from Visionart Italian to remember her birthday by :), and we ended the day with some foosball, and a tour of CMU.

The next day was fun at Kennywood ! All the water rides, the rollercoaster (Phantom's revenge), and all the kids rides, and after that exhausting day, we met the LTI gang later that evening as well. On Saturday, we lazed around at home, and went to downtown, Station Square, and up the Mohanagela incline to Mount Washington for dinner in the evening. The view was awesome, but the weather there was really chilly, and I learned a new song in the bar we passed on the way :D

By the time we got back, it was 12 am, and we sat and watched the video show that keeps projecting on the front entrance of the Carnegie Natural History Museum in the night. We then went to CMU where I fell asleep in the RI, while Sivaraman and Jisha played foosball, pool and video games for many many hours. It was a short, but awesome fun trip, and I already miss her.

White Water Rafting

2008-07-15T01:41:00.002+04:00

I went for a white water rafting trip on Sunday with a bunch of CMU students, and it was soo much fun. We were around 80 people in our morning group, and 7 of us were in one raft - Dan, Beena, Sivaraman, Ali, Ravi, Harsha, and me.

The trip started on a very scary note when Ali fell in the water right at the very start, and thanks to the flow of the water and our own inexperience at controlling the raft, we couldn't stop our raft, and Ali was floating in the water for almost 3-5 minutes before he was rescued by some other boat. Beena fell in a couple of times as well, and on our first major rapid, we got stuck on a rock ! We bounced around on the raft, trying to dislodge ourselves, and when we finally managed, the guide on top of the rock felt we didn't have enough control, so asked us to just sit in the center of the boat and not navigate the rapid at all. We got better though, and soon did our first rapid without losing anybody or getting stuck !

The fun began right after lunch though, when at the biggest rapid of them all, we got stuck (again!) on a BIG rock, and this time we had to either manage to get ourselves to go against the strong current of the water, and go down and hit many more rocks and potentially hurt ourselves badly. Eventually, we figured that the water was only till about waist level, and in spite of the gushing currents, we could get out, and drag our boat back against the current. We tried. And we didn't lose our boat :) But that was all. Just when I thought we would manage it ourselves, the rafting dudes came and helped us get back our raft, and that was the end of our heroic efforts :P

After that debacle, we managed to navigate one rapid really well, and to commemorate that, the kayak people who were supposed to be leading us suggested that we jump into the calm water. We had life jackets on, so there was no danger of sinking, or so he said. I thought I would never fall in the water, cause I would always play it safe, and this is a safe opportunity to create a memory and I jumped. The water was cold, and deep, and I kept freaking out that the life jacket is not strong enough, so I kept thrashing about incessantly. I wanted to get back on the raft, but it turns out that getting back is not that easy :P, and I ended up being dragged up into the raft by Dan (who was the only one who could climb back without help), but I got a cut on my lip for that :(

And at the very next rapid, we got stuck for a second, and I had a 5 foot fall into the water !! Very scary stuff ! I hit the water, come back out, only to see the raft swoosh by my head, merely a couple of inches away... I just started getting thankful that it didn't hit me when I saw another raft coming my way, and then another ! After 3 lucky misses, I realized I needed to start floating ! I had to float for a couple of minutes in the rapid, feeling those rocks hit my back, and trying to "relax, and keep my feet and head out of the water", till I eventually caught up with the raft, and was pulled back up by Dan.

And at the next rapid, we got stuck some more, and this time, we all got off to push the boat, except that I got stuck holding onto the boat, while it floated towards me. I had to hold on for dear life, cause if I had let go, I would have been pushed into the water, under the boat (and did I mention it was very shallow water , and being under the raft would have meant hitting many many many rocks really hard?) After a couple of minutes, I was again dragged into the raft again, and I decided to play it oh-so-safe from now on.

Turned out that was the end of the rafting trip, and I didn't have to play so-safe after all :) It was soo much awesome fun - the adrenaline, the screaming, and shouting and rowing and falling, and dragging. Too much !

To end the exciting day, I added some more excitement to my life, by forgetting my phone on the bus. And the next day, I had to make 50 calls, and then Sivaraman and I had to go all the way to South Side to get it back. End of excitement :) For the day.

India Trip - Travel

2008-07-12T04:33:00.002+04:00

The last time I traveled by Rajdhani was when I came back home for a weekend between my travel from Delhi to Bangalore in 2007. When I had fussed about which things I could carry, and which I would have to throw away, had borrowed Akshat's big roll-on bag to put all my stuff (which I still have btw), when I couldn't decide whether to be happy or sad or hopeful, when I waited at Delhi station listening to details of a job offer, wondering if I should tell P now that I won't be taking it, or wait and mail him an official mail later ...

That was then though, and this was now. I still had a big heavy suitcase, but it was filled with gifts, not my own random stuff, and this time mom was with me. The train travel, listening to mom chat up with strangers, waiting at Delhi station for our next train, looking at the stalls for books and snacks to buy (only this time, I wasn't the kid who thought the snacks on the station are awesome, or the variety in the bookstore mindboggling) - it was all very nostalgic. And before I knew it, we were in Panipat. With Mummy and Daddy fussing over us, asking about food and chai, mom getting fussy about not making Mummy(my naani) do any work.

The first day, we visited a couple of aunts, and somewhere along the way, jet-lag caught up, and I fell asleep in the middle of a conversation. The second day, Jisha reached as well, and I went to the station to pick her up, and we all went for lunch to Veena massi's house, where she fed us infinite quantities of food - including (but not limited to) paneer, dal, roti, noodles, rice, fruit salad, samosa, chat, dhokla, ras-malai, tea, biscuits, namkeen and a bunch of things that I have now forgotten.

The next day we traveled to Yamunanagar, and met that really really nice bank-manager, who my mom gifted "US chocolates" to cause he was just so nice. We also went to Papa's ex-college, where we met some of his ex-students (who are lecturers now), and talked about missing him and his "discipline" and his advice, and told some random stories about days gone by. On our way back, we stopped over at Karnal, and met my aunt, and 2 baby cousins, and some relatives who I have never met before ! They were all quite nice actually, and all of them ensured that they fed us a LOT. Finally, we reached back to Panipat, and visited another aunt (Bobby massi) who was nice enough to not insist that we eat some more :)

Day 4 was a trip to my last aunt in Panipat whom we hadn't visited, and from there we went to Delhi, and met my cousin Tinni who has just got married. We heard about her new family, and her husband Micky, who I didn't get to meet sadly :(, but the rest of the meeting was so much fun. Some more of my cousins were there, and a couple of aunts as well, and the whole house was full of laughter! Later that evening, I met Akshat and Vimmi, and went for more food :P Akshat of course hasn't changed at all, and that brought on more nostalgia about Delhi :)

Day 5 was spent relaxing in Delhi, and talking to my aunt, and then traveling to Gwalior to meet more relatives :) Day 6 and 7 were spent in Gwalior, where we met my buas, and more cousins, and even a niece who might be named Kriti ! I met all these cute kids, who practiced mehndi on my hands, and we sat and watched Babu bhaiya's wedding video, and went to see Gwalior fort, and had roadside food !

Day 8 was back to Mumbai, end of the hectic week, back home, with a couple of kilos added thanks to North Indian hospitality :(, and with plans to spend the rest of the holiday relaxing at home :) I met soo many people, whom I hadn't met for such a long time, and they were all so nice, and so much fun ! I hope I get to do this again very very soon.

Atalanta

2008-07-04T01:49:00.001+04:00

From your reading pleasure, I give you Atalanta, from http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/1421/FreeToBe.html#Atalanta, copied wholly from the source :)

Once upon a time, not long ago, there lived a princess named Atalanta, who could run as fast as the wind. She was so bright, and so clever, and could build things and fix things so wonderfully that many young men wished to marry her. "What shall I do?" said Atalanta's father, who was a powerful king. "So many young men want to marry you, and I don't know how to choose."

"You don't have to choose, father," said Atalanta. "I will choose. And I'm not sure that I will choose to marry anyone at all."

"Of course you will," said the king. "Everybody gets married. It's what people do."

"As for me," Atalanta told him, "I intend to go out and see the world. When I come home, perhaps I will marry, and perhaps I will not."

The king did not like this at all. He was a very ordinary king: powerful, and used to having his way. So he told Atalanta, "I have decided how to choose the young man you will marry. I will hold a great race, and the winner, the swiftest and fleetest young man of all, will win the right to marry you."

Now, Atalanta was a clever girl, as well as a swift runner, so she told her father, "Very well then, let there be a race. But you must let me run in it too. And if I am not the winner, I will accept the wishes of the young man who is. If I am the winner, I will choose for myself what I will do."

The king agreed to this. He would have his way, marry off his daughter, and enjoy a fine day of racing, as well. So he called his messengers together, and directed them to travel far and wide to announce the race with its wonderful prize: the chance to marry the bright Atalanta.

Meanwhile, Atalanta herself was preparing for the race. Each day at dawn, she went to the field in secret, until she could run the course in just three minutes, more quickly than anyone had ever run it before.

As the day of the race grew near, young men began to crowd into the town. Each was sure he could win the prize, the except for one. That was young John, who lived in the town. He knew Atalanta well, for he saw her day be day as she bought nails and wood to make a pigeon house, or sat reading a book in the gardens, or chose parts for her telescope, or laughed with her friends. Young John say the princess only from a distance, but he understood how bright and clever she was. He wished very much to race with her; to win and to earn the right to talk with her, and become her friend. "For surely," he said to himself, "it is not right for Atalanta's father to give her away to the winner of the race. Atalanta herself must choose whom she wants to marry, or whether she wishes to marry at all. Still, if I could only win the race, I would be free to speak to her, and to ask for her friendship!"

Each evening, after his studies of the stars and the seas, John went to the field in secret and practiced running across it. Night after night, he raced as fast as the wind across the twilight field, until he could cross it in three minutes, more quickly, he thought, than anyone had run across it before.

At last, the day of the race arrived. Trumpets sounded, and the young men gathered along the edge of the field, along with Atalanta herself, the prize that they sought. The king and his friends sat in soft chairs, and the townspeople stood along the course of the race. The king rose to address them all. "Good day!" he said to the crowds. "Good luck!" he said to the young men. To Atalanta, he said "Goodbye. I must tell you farewell, for tomorrow, you will be married."

"I am not too sure of that, father" Atalanta answered, and she went to stand in line with the young men. "Not one of them," she said to herself, "can win the race, for I will run as fast as the wind, and leave them all behind."

And now, a bugle sounded, and the runners were off!

The crowds cheered as the young men and Atalanta began to race across the field. At first, they ran as a group, but Atalanta soon pulled ahead, with three of the young men close after her. As they neared the half-way point, one of them put on a great burst of speed and seemed to pull ahead for an instant, but then gasped, and fell back. Atalanta shot on! Soon, another young man, tense with the effort, drew near to Atalanta. He reached out as if to touch her sleeve, stumbled for an instant, and lost speed. Atalanta smiled as she ran on. "I have almost won!" she thought. Just then another young man drew near to her. This was young John, running like the wind, as steadily and as swiftly as Atalanta herself. Atlanta felt his closeness, and in a sudden burst, she dashed ahead. But young John didn't give up. "Nothing at all," thought he, "will keep me from winning my chance to speak with Atalanta," and on he ran, swift as the wind, until he ran as her equal, side by side with her, toward the golden ribbon that marked the race's end. Atalanta was aware of him, and she raced even faster. But young John was a strong match for her. Smiling with the pleasure of the race, Atalanta and young John reached the finish line together, and together they broke through the golden ribbon that marked it!

Trumpets blew! The crowd shouted and leaped about! The king rose. "Who is this young man?" he asked.

"I am young John from the town," young John answered.

"Very well, young John," said the king, as John and Atalanta stood before him. "You have not won the race, but you have come closer to winning than any man here. And so I give you the prize that was promised: the right to marry my daughter."

Young John smiled at Atalanta, and she smiled back. "Thank you, sir," said John to the king, "but I could not possibly marry your daughter unless she wished to marry me. I have run this race for the chance to talk with Atalanta."

Atalanta laughed with pleasure. "And I," she said to John, "could not possibly marry you before I've gone out to see the world. But I would like nothing better than to spend the afternoon with you." And she held out her hand to young John, who took it. Then the two of them sat and talked on the grassy field. Atalanta told John about her telescopes and her pigeons, and John told Atalanta about his globes and his geography studies. At the end of the day, they were friends.

The next day, John set off by ship to discover new lands, and Atalanta set off on horseback to visit great cities. The king stayed home and thought about how the world was changing. When he was young, daughters always wanted to get married. But now Atalanta is still off in the world, visiting towns and cities, and John is still sailing the seas. Perhaps someday they'll be married, and perhaps they will not. In any case, it is certain they are both living happily ever after.

20 years

2008-06-25T22:28:00.003+04:00

Thats how long it took Richard Lenski and his students and colleagues to come up with a result.
But what a result !
http://scienceblogs.com/loom/2008/06/02/a_new_step_in_evolution.php

Floatin

2008-06-25T04:09:00.003+04:00

I'm learning how to swim. It's all really exciting right now - shopping for the costume, floating and gliding in the water, swallowing a lot of chlorine water, the shower, and the roaming around with wet frizzy hair ...
It was my second day at the locker today and someone took my towel !! I also learned that there are dryers to dry your swimsuit, so you don't have to carry your wet swimsuit through the day :P
Starting lessons was almost the scariest thing I have done ever, and now that the first step is done, I am soooo excited !

Its Friday the 13th

2008-06-13T20:39:00.001+04:00

And its raining in Pittsburgh, and there's thunder and lightning. I LOVE this sound of thunder, the patter of raindrops, and I hope this goes on all month :)

Holi

2008-05-23T09:40:00.003+04:00

CMU finally got warm enough to play Holi only in April, and that’s what we did the day after my birthday! There was color and cold water and lots of shouting and laughing and uncontrollable giggling! And later, we had to get semi-cleaned in the CMU bathroom, so that we looked presentable enough to get on the bus, without being thrown out by the driver! As I passed by some kids sitting in the sun outside NSH, one of them turned to their mom and said “mom, more colored people!” – it was really funny.

I met Sundarmurthy uncle and Radhika aunty and Aishwarya later that day. I was still pink from holi, and Radhika aunty thought I was allergic to pollen. :) They took me to their friend’s place, and we all had a late lunch together. Even though I met them after 10 years, it seemed like only yesterday that I was at their place, having fun – they haven’t changed a bit, except for Aishu of course, who has become all big now :)
Radhika aunty got me a lot of food – biscuits and chips and chakli, and for the next 3 weeks, I gorged on nice Indian food here. I felt really nice meeting them after so long!

Birthday

2008-05-23T09:24:00.005+04:00

My birthday this year was the most work I have done ever on my birthday! I cooked for 14 people on Thursday night, on the eve of my birthday, and preparations started a week in advance. Cleaned the house, went to the Strip District to buy vegetables in bulk, planned the menu (rajma, peas pulao, mixed vegetable raita and cauliflower vegetable) etc. We ate chips and chocolates and played Wolf Wolf, and it was a whole lot of fun! I don’t think I will ever forget trying to convince Alankrita that I am the doctor and Ali is the wolf! My friends had got 2 cakes, and I got smeared with cake at midnight as expected. Everyone left by 1:30am, and by the time I cleaned up the kitchen and slept, it was already 4am.

The next morning started early again with cleaning the house and more cooking for lunch for 8 of my LTI friends! They had the sweetest, cutest, nicest surprise for me – they had made me the most awesome video wishing me happy birthday, and my advisor Eric was also in it! And even though I managed not to break out in happy tears as expected, I was speechless for quite a while after that.

Later that evening, we went to the CMU spring carnival and Sivaraman and I went on a couple of rides. One of them went round and round vertically, so we were upside down for quite some time, and although it was really exciting, I felt giddy for quite some time after that. And listening to Sameer describe the kidneys resting on the lungs while we were upside down made me decide not to go on these rides again. A sign of old age and maturity and all that for sure. :D

I also got two dozen roses later that day, and I spent a happy hour, decorating them in a vase, and posing for photographs with them. I’m still reading the books I got – ‘Remember Me?’, ‘Unweaving the Rainbow’, and ‘The Blank Slate’. It was a happy happy birthday, and may I have many more :D

Another One Bites the Dust

2008-04-20T20:14:00.003+04:00

I celebrated my 25th on Friday. A quarter century done. Lists of "Things I will do before 25" left incomplete. Lists of "Things I would never ever do" done ;) People hurt, people loved, places seen, places missed. The idealism is going, the cynic is setting in. The lesson to accept certain inalienable truths is being learned.

Nostalgia is setting in, but the excitement is starting as well... Here's to the beginning of the rest of my life - may it be interesting times indeed.

Surprise

2008-04-17T08:38:00.002+04:00

Sometimes you think you cannot understand a person/concept more. She's my mom, I know everything about her ! I invented this algorithm, and worked on it for 10 years, how could I not understand all the finer points? And then you get surprised :) And its such an awesome surprise, to know that no matter how deep you go, there is still more depth. Some mystery is unveiled, but only to remind you that there are many more to come - the layers remain.

San Francisco

2008-04-10T00:05:00.005+04:00

San Francisco is one of the most beautiful cities I have seen ever ! The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the water was still, there was a cool breeze, the people were beautiful !

We stayed at the W hotel, (thanks to Google), the most gorgeous hotel I have seen ever ! Colorful bedspreads, a view of the pool, the sofa right next to the window, and of course, the super-posh lounge downstairs. My visit started with a quick visit to Chinatown with Aditi, Kalifa, and Allison. Chinatown is the quintessential touristy place, 2$ San Francisco tshirts, Chinese good-luck charms, and a "last day of Bush" countdown timer ! We got back just in time for the Google reception - a nice dinner, and interesting conversations with some fascinating people from all over the country.

The next day was the trip to Google itself. The highlight of the day was the icecream social, where Larry Page and Sergey Brin, along with a few directors "dropped by to say a hi". I also attended a talk by Peter Norvig which was pretty cooL as well. The Google campus itself is very impressive, surprisingly large, and all the stories about "too many cafes" is completely true. The one we went to had 200 options for food - there was nothing that I could think of which I didn't see - from Indian to Chinese to Sushi to Pizza and fruits and icecream and milk + cornflakes, and yogurt and beef and duck and salads and many many more things. The size and variety were mind-boggling !

I met up with Sumanth and visited the Golden Gate bridge, and Sausalito - one of the most beautiful places I have seen in the US so far. It was so peaceful, and calm and quiet, with pretty boats, and a view of the SF skyline, and so romantic ! I also went for some dinner cruise (courtesy Google), which was surprisingly not that impressive - dinner on a boat, which roams around downtown so you can see the night skyline just sounds much more romantic/impressive than it actually is. Later that night, Vijay and I hit some nightclub, and had a lot of fun ! And then drove from SF to Sunnyvale at 3am, while I tried so hard not to fall asleep, so that Vijay would have company while driving.

Vijay showed me around Stanford - the driveway with the palm trees, the "tall observatory", the church, the lake, and of course the CS building. Stanford is such a beautiful university ! And he also took me to the chaat place - where I had decent chaat for the first time in the US - I was soo happy ! I miss that place now :(

I totally need to go back to San Fransisco ASAP !

Seattle Trip

2008-03-22T23:35:00.003+04:00

Some trips are just so much fun, so much fun, so much fun, that when you get back home, all you want to do is go back. Seattle at Spring Break was that kind of a trip for me, mostly because of Sapna.

I landed in Seattle on the 12th, Sapna came to the airport to pick me up, and the 45 minute drive to her house disappeared while we chatted about everything and nothing. Her house is beautiful, very elegant, very subtly decorated. Sappo had made dal and roti and beans ki subji, an awesome meal that ended with some great chai !! We then went to the Snoqualmie Falls, which were so powerful, and magnificent, somehow, man-made buildings don't compare ! There was a boardwalk where you could stand and look at the falls, but like most other people, we jumped over it, onto the rocks below, and viewed the waterfall, right from the shore. We sat there on the rocks for sometime, feeling the tiny droplets of water, hearing the roar of the waterfall, feeling the stress go away !

Later in the evening we went to Whole Foods, which was fun, cause I hadn't been to a whole foods before - the variety of food there was mindboggling ! And the day just got better when Sapna cooked pav-bhaji for dinner !! :)

On Friday, Sapna, Eakta, Sujatha and I roamed around in Seattle, from the beach to Pyke Place Market to the (closed) Space Needle and Experience Music Project, and the tourist train through Downtown. Pyke Place Market was really interesting, with weird jewelery shops, and Magician Stores, and exotic clothes, and the first Starbucks. We ended the day with an awesome dinner that was easily the best Indian Restaurant I have seen in the US so far!

The next day we went on a LONG drive along with Aabhas and Eakta to see Mount St Helen, but alas ! it was closed, since it was still "winter" in Seattle, and the only open viewpoint required us to trek for 3 miles through 2 feet of snow. We instead went to the visitors center, and looked at a movie about its history, and saw the small exhibit there, and walked around on the trail through the marshes. On our way back, we visited the State Capitol in Olympia, and had an Indian Chinese dinner, that included vegetable manchurian, spicy garlic noodles, soup !! And as if that wasn't enough food, we went to CanAm to get Tandoori Pizza !!

Seattle is beautiful even in winter, and I can see how it would be even more gorgeous in summer, and I hope to go back there soon !

Grad Cohort

2008-03-20T08:27:00.002+04:00

I visited Seattle in Spring Break, to attend the Grad Cohort 2008, organized by the CRA-W. There were a bunch of talks, a LOT of networking, and some good food as well :)

The Bell Harbor Conference Center was right at the Waterfront, with some beautiful views of the water, the Marriott was nice, but not great (my first stay in a good hotel though), and the evening reception was awesome fun ! (100 women dancing, Baileys+Cream and some margaritas added to the fun)

And a lot of interesting people, with a lot of interesting conversations - CS, culture, life and all.

The Seven Sins of Memory

2008-03-20T08:24:00.001+04:00

The seven sins that rule my life. The other sins ? I forget :)

My Cookie

2008-03-01T18:43:00.002+04:00

I decorated this cookie at the 'Yahoo! Make you own Smiley' TG yesterday.
I'm the red chick petting my blue snake.

2008-02-20T05:04:00.003+04:00

Why I don't watch TV anymore

Hmmm.... maybe 3.5 years of no TV is why I don't feel any guilt for putting on weight, or not doing my eyebrows or not having perfectly shaped nails?

You said it Baby !

2008-02-19T02:10:00.003+04:00

From XKCD of course.

I Heart Overcoming Bias

2008-02-13T04:54:00.002+04:00

I tend to have a lot of arguments which end with a disagreement of the definition of the word itself. God, morality, goals, rationality, feminism - words seem to mean different things to different people.

And then overcoming bias comes up this. And I will never argue the same way again.

Who am I ? Random Nonsensical Rant

2008-01-27T01:15:00.000+04:00

What would make more sense than to dedicate our lives to finding our true nature? But what if we don't have a true nature ? We have optimization functions : Self-gratification (local optimization), v/s Making the world a better place (global optimization); we have cost functions, and we certainly have priors. The problem is the problem is not time invariant. It changes, we change, as we speak, as we think.

While I sit and read blogs, while I sit and wonder how can Bayes not be the right answer, I change. Each person we meet, we see. The woman in the bus with the funky purple hat "imported from India", the old lady with her red lipstick, the people standing with "No War" signs on the streets, or the ones who clean the streets of garbage without being paid to.

People I never speak to challenge my understanding of the world, question what 5 years of my life are worth, remind me of the always ignored, but still always present optimization function, in a world with no feedback, in a world with no evaluation metric, with multiple realities, and multiple belief systems, and 6 billion people, most of whom believe they are the most important person in the world.

And yet we all do it, we all optimize over an undefined function. And turns out that the people unaware of doing it are the happiest of them all. Ignorance really is bliss, if happiness is what u want.

And so it seems who you are is all about your loss function. And then I wonder why I am taking the optimization class, when really what I need is decision theory.

Self Image

2008-01-24T03:11:00.001+04:00

Serendipity

2008-01-13T05:49:00.000+04:00

Today I was looking for "good Indian Tea" in the Indian Store, and didn't find any of the 4 possibilities that I was looking for. :( But while I was looking, I found "Bombay Sandwich Spread" - authentic mild green chutney for sandwiches. I almost cried.

Would you?

2008-01-06T10:54:00.000+04:00

So you go to a large art installation called the Mattress Factory. And on the second floor, the lights are dim. Extremely dim, so you can barely make out where the wall is and where is the entrance.

You enter a dark corridor. Pitch dark. 100% blind dark. You look back, but the door with the faint lights seems to have disappeared. You put your hands in the front, and find a railing. Turns out you are in a narrow corridor. You walk forward, holding on to the railing with one hand, and feeling for objects in the front with the other. And then the railing ends. And you find yourself in an enclosed balcony-like area, dark, empty, and you can hear your own echo.

And you can see what the artist wants you to see.
Empty darkness.
Echoing silences.

Would you switch on your phone light to see what the artist didn't want you to see ?

I would.
I did.
Its not worth it.

Woman in Red

2008-01-05T03:37:00.000+04:00

Two Girls ask "What do you wear that makes you powerful?" You can see the answers here. My favorite ones?

In the turquoise top, anything can happen.

Everybody needs a red purse... something that they can take with them every day to help, you know, just touch and give you confidence.

This outfit just does so much for me because at this point in my life I’m so proud of myself because it took so much for me to get here... It’s definitely my power uniform. (This was a doctor's coat)

So as you see right now I’m in bright red... I want people to pay attention to me and if you are wearing red people look at you. (Young woman, sexy red dress)

The outfit I wore today I think of as the incognito outfit.

Everything about me just me makes me feel powerful 'cause I'm a strong person. When I was younger I got teased for being dark skinned. Now there's nothing you can tell me, I just know I look good

I want to dress like this everyday. I feel empowered, I feel intelligent, I feel important…I’m ready to go to work

You have to have a red lipstick attitude.

Hey I still have got something going here folks… the red's just not for show, I've got some red inside. (Old lady, red jacket)

It turns out for me, feeling sexy makes me powerful. Low-cut top, jeans, and heels it would be. I'm sure that should tell me something, but I'm not quite sure what.

History Summarized

2008-01-05T03:13:00.000+04:00

Margaret Morrison is my favorite building in CMU. Here's some pictures of one of the walls of the building.

1918

1937

1938

1946

1948

The begin of feminism? The pressure of feminism ?
1974

The hope?
1976

1999

2000 and a few others

MindChange

2008-01-03T03:53:00.000+04:00

online chin-scratching club Edge have asked their annual question. This year's it's "What have you changed your mind about?"

http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2008/01/changing_minds.html

I resolve to think about this, and add what did I change my mind about to this post in the next 1 week.

Update :
As I do every year, in 2007 I again changed my mind about who I am.

It turns out I am not as selfish as I had imagined, not as nice as I had thought, not as rational. I saw my biases, didn't like all of them, found my honest-self, the one who I thought didn't exist outside of my best-self. I changed my mind about how important it is to look good, I finally made my semi-peace with my body.

I also changed my mind about how much math I was capable of knowing, how much I surprise myself, and the irony of having multiple personalities in my own head also struck me as funny ( a part of me anyways). In 2007, I started labeling all my desires with their origins, most of which were people. And started labeling(naming?) all the people who live in me.

There are too many voices in my head, and its hard to follow 1 path when the decision is being made by a committee, but unfortunately I like all of me too much to throw any one voice out.

Its a New Year

2008-01-03T02:27:00.000+04:00

But its certainly not happy, not after this.

Thanksgiving :)

2007-12-30T06:41:00.000+04:00

I know I have a LONG list of imperfections, a never-ending list of the stuff I do and say and don't do and don't realize. But I am also lucky enough to have an equally long list of friends. Who see the imperfections. And love me anyways. Who don't judge, who don't plan how to change me, or crib about me to other people.

If ever in your life you have thought "that Kriti, she is ___, but she is like this only", thanks - you know who you are ! :)

Rant-1

2007-12-29T02:10:00.000+04:00

Yesterday, I ate a good frozen paratha that told me how my standards are falling. Does the best you can get ever qualify as good ?

And one full tomato. Just like I did in India. Slice up a tomato, put some salt and eat it. Can't do that here, tomatoes are fuckin expensive. You have to think before you eat :(

And I had one full tomato for the first time yesterday. Raw.

And it tasted bad :( Dry, crumbling, non-juicy, and non-sour. Not like the tomatoes back home

I want home food. Good food. Good vegetables, and good parathas. The good stuff. Why is that too much to ask for ? :(

Partner

2007-12-11T18:39:00.000+04:00

No, not the movie, the term - partner. Christina at Feministe thought the whole “girlfriend”/”boyfriend” thing a little silly, and the word “partner” annoying and confusing.

She asks "How do you introduce your Bedfellow? Other Sidekicks you’ve had? What was the best/funniest/most syllabic term for S.O. you’ve ever heard? If you wanted to make the worst impression possible, what term would you use?"

Some of the answers from the comments :

“Hi, this is Jim. Jim and I are ‘it’s complicated’ on Facebook.”
Shagpiece
Temptress
“So, this person who lives with me and what not….”
StableBoy :D
So - sambo.
sigoth, for significant other
My sweetie. :)) -- ha ha, imagine saying "Hello, I would like you to meet my sweetie XYZ"
Beloved !!!
“I’d like to introduce you to My Complication”
my oldest child
POSSLQ (Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters).
“This is my….this is…..this is Bob.”
“this is my current romantic involvement, [name]”
sig fig. (Short for Significant Figure, which, yes, is a dumb chemistry joke.)
Equipment Operator.
my Special Lady Friend.
"this is my euphemism, steven”
Boy Toy
Super Friend - I like this one :)
"This is the boy that I’m kissing.”

Awwww

Fire and Ice

2007-12-08T05:05:00.000+04:00

A fire alarm rang out in Wean Hall today, and the building was evacuated. Around a 100 students and faculty stood right outside the Wean hall entrance, waiting to be let back in.

Everyone was waiting, everyone had nothing to do.

Suddenly, there was a scream, and everyone turned to look what happened, what was the problem ?

And then out of nowhere a white ball came flying and crashed on the ground.

Snowball fight !!

Random people started making snowballs, and throwing them into the crowd. Duck, pick up snow, make a ball, throw, duck. At any point in time, there were around 2-3 pretty white balls flying in the air, 2-3 people ducking, and many more bending over, patting snow into place. A 100 people, maybe 25 aggressors, and 75 "innocent" victims, who were too busy to notice that there was a fight until they got hit, and joined in as well.

A beautiful sight indeed. :)

First Snow Fight

2007-12-06T09:39:00.000+04:00

My first snow fight, with no gloves, and a bad cold and throat infection.
The worst of ideas are always the most fun !

Its -8 degrees Celsius in Pittsburgh now, and even a long coat with a sweater and muffler and cap and gloves and boots are not enough to keep me warm while I wait for the escort. I need to be in California in January and February !! ( The snow makes the cold worth it somehow though)

Thanksgiving

2007-12-01T05:02:00.000+04:00

It was a night of firsts.

Snow, the soft pretty flakes that melted when I tried to touch them, feel them, figure out what they were about, they made me want to cry cause I wanted to know, and understand, but they just disappeared. And still they kept falling, and kept staying still on the roads, and the leaves, and even on my jacket, just not on my outstretched arm. The snow fell on my face and disappeared, but never let me really figure out what it really was. I guess I will have to wait for January when snow will be all I see everywhere :)

And thanksgiving shopping, the mania, the consumerism. The night I wanted to buy everything, the night I realized that grad students are in fact quite poor :) Gap, JCrew, American Eagle, Martin and Osa, Guess, Eddie Bauer - the thrill, the mania, the depression all got mixed up, and I still haven't recovered :( May this night be my first and only shopping binge.

Missed the turkey though, will have to wait for next year now for tofu-turkey. :)

Mladen & Jose's Housewarming Party

2007-11-23T03:53:00.001+04:00

It was a surprisingly warm night, with the windows all open and the AC turned on. There was pretty red furniture, and candles and gorgeous lamps. And there was cheesecake, and chips with salmon and cheese and spinach dip. And Baileys and milk, and Coconut Rum, and Vodka and Orange juice.

There was talk about how chikoos and pears taste similar, and advisors, and Columbia, and Linux penguin earrings, and restaurants in Pittsburgh. There was salsa being taught, and dancing to "Hit me Baby one more time". And then there was more talk and laughter.

We didn't pin the tail on a real Croatian, and no one was evicted after all, but it was a superb night nevertheless. :)

American Gangster

2007-11-19T01:35:00.000+04:00

Good v/s evil, drug addiction, a black man learning from the Italian mafia, street fights, the importance of subtlety, and of covering your bases. That was American Gangster.

It was followed by a soup dinner at Rock Bottom Cafe. And a promise to myself to buy and wear warmer clothes. Brrrrr.

Light Up Night

2007-11-19T01:28:00.001+04:00

Friday night was 'Light Up Night' - the night when all the Christmas lights are lit up in Downtown Pittsburgh, the Christmas tree is decorated, and Santa makes his FIRST appearance. Its like a 'mela' in downtown, street vendors selling green and blue light sabers, and street food like funnel cakes, and fried Oreo cookies and corn dog.

Families are all out on the streets, Macy's has a big display of fairy tales (this pic is of the Cinderella doll and her price charming, both of whom were surprisingly ugly ! ), and there are many ginger bread cakes made by local chefs being sold for charity.

There's also fireworks, and the ice rink around the Christmas tree looks gorgeous. Sivaraman wanted to ice-skate, but all of us were too cold, so we had to say no. Sorry Sivaraman !

I went for Light Up Night with the usual gang - Mladen, Gorana, Beena, Ramnath and Sivaraman, and it was a fun Friday night indeed :)

Advice

2007-11-19T00:52:00.001+04:00

http://www.apaonline.org/publications/newsletters/Vol07n1/Feminism/08.asp

Camping Trip

2007-11-15T07:12:00.001+04:00

Shenandoah National Park - my first camping trip, first trip to see the Fall Colors. Ramnath, Beena, Mladen, Gorana and I - 5 people in a car for a 5 hour drive to the national park, where we planned to camp and hike.

The park was soo beautiful, all the trees were red and orange and yellow and green, and the sky was soo blue. It was breathtaking. And it was also v v cold !!

We reached there on Saturday at around 12 pm, and first had a picnic lunch at the camp grounds - bad brown bread that was as hard as stone, with tomatoes and cheese and juice and yoghurt.

We then went on a hike through a small section of the park, and on our way back, we decided on the perfect camping spot.

Got our stuff, and went back, and camped !! I "built" my very own tent, it was super duper cooL !! I could lie down in my tent and see the stars, and the spooky leaves.

And then Ramnath cooked dinner - but putting water in dehydrated food and cooking it and it was actually quite nice :) And we roasted marshmallows on the fire, and ate them with chocolate.

The next day we packed up, and went for some more hiking, before we returned to civilization.

All in all, the perfect weekend.
Except for the tattoo that I almost got. But then I didn't :D And thats another story :)

Desh - Videsh

2007-11-15T06:28:00.000+04:00

Dancing with dandiyas at Navratri, Indian clothes, paneer makhni, and garlic naan, performances, singing, diwali pooja, 2 year old Bhangra music and a 100 people dancing like crazy.

No family though, and isn't that what makes all the difference?

2007-11-08T02:57:00.000+04:00

The free woman is sinful.
Really :)

From http://musingsofamademoiselle.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html

Can't wait ....

2007-10-10T06:16:00.000+04:00

To buy a new white-board for my home. :)

Weekend

2007-10-10T06:13:00.000+04:00

I went partying with Karan and some of his friends. We went to Tequila Willies and Privilege, both at Strip District, and a house party, followed by breakfast at Eat-n-Park. Awesome Fun !!

2007-10-06T00:03:00.000+04:00

Heroes-2 has started, Hiro Nakamura is back !! I'm soo happy !!

Chicago Trip

2007-10-02T02:24:00.000+04:00

Went to Chicago to meet Reena on the weekend. Sapna came from Seattle as well, and it was an awesome one-third-MM reunion ! :)

I reached Chicago at 12, and we immediately went to the Bahai temple. Very pretty, and very big, though not as impressive as the Lotus temple in Delhi. Very quiet though, cause there was only 1 other person in the temple, so very conducive for silent thought.

That was followed by an awesome picnic lunch in a garden, and then we went to a beach !! Played in the sand, clicked a LOT of snaps, and laughed a lot at the most ridiculous of jokes - its amazing how good friends can make your sense of humor fall to amazingly low levels, where anything and everything seems funny !

We then went to the John Hancock Observatory on the 94th floor, which had a super-duper view of the whole of Chicago and the lake as well.... and then roamed around all over Downtown, gaping at the shops, and the buildings, and all the people. Unlike Pittsburgh, Chicago actually a crowd on the roads - which felt really good !! Went home to some superb pulao dinner, and fun conversations.... missed 209, and the rest of the gang though.

The next day was the Millennium Park with the "kidney bean" and the "water fountain with the man and the woman". And then right next to the planetarium with the water and the skyline. And Navy Pier, which was like an Indian Mela - people, rides, junk jewelery, food stalls, and funny hats :)

Saturday food was poha, sprouts, and pulao. Sunday lunch was prawns, bhindi, daal, dinner was gobi and dahi curry. Almost everything made by Yogesh. All of it awesome ! Had superb homemade food, cooked and served to me after so long, felt so good :)

The weekend ended way too soon, the week and all of its work and homework started way too quick. Here's hoping that many more fun weekends are here soon.

Danish Feminism

2007-09-17T01:05:00.001+04:00

http://feministing.com/archives/005773.html

We demand: respect, equal wages and orgasms.

Dogbert

2007-09-15T20:42:00.001+04:00

If it isn't immoral, it probably won't work.

Dilli Ki Nagri

2007-09-15T19:55:00.000+04:00

Why do I miss Delhi so much? The lab, the katta, the steps where I cried, the fountain where we all sat and had chai? TC, Big Chill, CP, Sardarji ka Dhaba, our rooftop ? I miss Tejaswi in Delhi, and Akshat and Kudrat ! And Kudrat's friends and the IRL folks. Even Handa !!

The application process, the recos, the alphablox and J2EE code. The interview studying, the SOP writing, VLDB demo, the canceled trip to Himachal, the trip that happened to Lansdowne.... The last minute Delhi-tourist trip - Red Fort and Lotus Temple, and the valentine's awkward awkward trip to the dancing fountains. :) Even the maggi counter in Delhi has soo many memories !!

The walks through IIT, giggling for the CMU admit while walking for 45 long minutes, crying for the people lost, embarrassing friends, stopping people walking away. The peacocks, the aunty ki meethi meethi chai. The airport, the uncle at the airport saying goodbye, the yellow car, Dhingra uncle, the chill, the barbeque, the crazy crazy crazy times. Packing for the Google interview. Worrying about what to wear for that first meeting, searching for a decent salwar-kameez !! :))

And cold, always cold. Oh so cold. And the snuggling up in the rajai. And the shopping at Sarojini Nagar for jackets. And all the trips to Big Chill. Soup and chocolate. And the warmth. The red tshirt I wore to my dance practice. And buying water on the way home. Home. My home. And TC. The last night at TC. When everything was going so wrong, but it really wasn't.

And breakfast and tea on the roof. And sunbathing :)) And cooking. And driving through Delhi, singing Aadat and Tere Bin. And Diwali Dhamaka. Dancing, shopping, and acting.

Hazaaron Khwahishyen Aisi in loop. Followed by Omkara. In loop again. And the bonfire at Lansdowne. And being sooo lost. Still lost.

Everytime I think of Delhi, there's a rush of snapshots that go by. Each one more intense than the other. Moments that cannot be forgotten. Make me wonder how did I survive it all ? And how is it still some of the best times of my life?

Joy and tears, stress and fun, work and break. Very intense. Very very missed !

Orientation

2007-09-07T03:47:00.000+04:00

So one of the major things happening in the past few days has been our department orientation. Professors from the CS department give research talks on their current interests for 30 minutes each, and if you get interested in something, you talk to the Professor about being his student.

So I heard about modeling human motion, and the ripples on human skin while they do tasks, about Data Intensive Super Computing, about creating a 3D view of a scene from a single 2D image, about analyzing virus genomes, and modeling biological evolution, about creating a machine that truly "understands" what it knows, and the techniques of speech synthesis, and interactive tutors, and multi-lingual question answering, and so much more.

And each talk impressed me more than the others, and as each Professor talked about his vision of the future, I got more and more excited about working in their specific area. In spite of all the exciting events I have been to in the past few days, attending the IC orientation talks has been the MOST EXCITING event by far !!

Updates !!

2007-09-07T03:12:00.000+04:00

Was busy the whole week with homework and "parties". The homework has been ... well, homework, but the events at CMU were very interesting indeed !

Last weekend, we attended a GSA party at Ava Lounge, which was awesome !! We reached there at 10:40-ish, and they were serving Ethiopian food - which had kaali daal (v spicy) !! I have not seen any other cuisine that has daal, so that was cooL! Then there was something which was exactly like a dosa but rolled up, and some 2 non-veg dishes with vegetables, in a spicy gravy again, and with steamed rice - exactly like Indian food ! There were 3 dance floors, and we danced like crazy for almost 3 hours !! We finally left at 2 am, and found our way back with great difficulty cause cabs stop service at 2 - a not-so-exciting end to a very fun night :)

Then there was my very first Potluck at a CSD grad student's house, where I took cake, but it turned out that 15 of the 25 people had got desserts as well.... good lesson learnt - don't get dessert to a potluck !

There was also an IGSA party, with games and movie (Chak de India), and some food as well - met a lot of people I had met in the orientation from the other departments - was a lot of fun !

Then I attended the Women@SCS Potluck - which was in a very pretty home with a very pretty backyard, that was all decorated with candles for us. And there was the biggest, yet nicest dog - Max - who was so friendly, I forgot to be scared after some time !!

And then there was the SCS IC hike to Linn Run division of Forbes State Forest. We walked, and talked, and had a lot of fun !!

And I just attended a party in honor of Sharon Burks at the Phipps Conservatory, which was very very pretty. And they served the nicest food ! Strawberries and pineapple slices covered in chocolate, and broccoli and red bell peppers with rich ranch dressing, and sushi, and meatballs, and some exotic cheese-based dishes. And there was wine and cheese as well ! And the conservatory itself is beautiful, with a glass exhibition set up right in the middle of all the plants, the muted and varied shades of green, contrasting with the bright reds and electric blues of the glass snakes and balls lying all around.

There have been more events, but I forgot them now. The habit remains.

Paneer !

2007-08-21T22:19:00.002+04:00

2 litres of milk that got spoiled today, that had to be boiled and filtered and cooked into paneer bhurji.

That was the highlight of my day so far.

2007-08-21T22:19:00.001+04:00

From those to whom much is given, much is expected.

From http://www.gatesfoundation.org/MediaCenter/Speeches/Co-ChairSpeeches/BillgSpeeches/BGSpeechHarvard-070607.htm

New Home

2007-08-20T06:47:00.000+04:00

Finally our new home in Pittsburgh has been set up.

We have mattresses and a couch and a desk+chair, and a fan and lots of really pretty lamps, and also a lot of gadgets in the kitchen - microwave, dishwasher, sandwich maker, blender, BIG fridge, etc. etc. It looks AWESOME !!

This is our living room :

This is my room :

And finally this is the kitchen :

Friday Night

2007-08-18T08:48:00.000+04:00

Today was pretty much my first real Friday night here, and I went out with Alankrita, Ramnath, Jose and Daniel to Station Square. We listened to some live music at the square, saw musical fountains, had pizza at Louie Bar, and finally, went up the incline of Mount Washington to see Pittsburgh. And when we went up the incline, some baseball match had just got over, and there were some brilliant fireworks display going on for 15 minutes !!

That was fun!

Differences

2007-08-18T08:42:00.000+04:00

As we waited for our bus to CMU, I saw a car driver pass by, with what looked like a bottle on the top of his car. And when he turned at the intersection, of course the bottle fell in the middle of the road, and juice started spilling out all over... while he still drove on at 80 kmph, or whatever speed he was at...

And Alankrita and I were shocked to see such a callous act, especially in the US of A. I thought that maybe the driver or passenger was drunk, and thought it was a funny thing to do. But then Alankrita had a better explanation - that the driver was drinking juice as he came out of a grocery store, kept the juice on top of the car while he loaded his groceries, and then sat in the car and drove off, forgetting the juice on top, where it stayed till the first turn.

Her theory was soon validated when we saw the driver stop 200m away from the intersection, looking back trying to figure out what had happened. Then he drove off.... and we saw him a minute later, as he turned and came back, parked at the side of the street, and came to the middle of the intersection, to pick up the bottle that he had dropped.

This happens only in the US.

CMU Campus

2007-08-17T04:52:00.000+04:00

Well, to be honest, CMU doesn't seem to have a campus, just a whole lot of buildings, since it doesn't have a campus boundary wall at all. But then again, it has this largish lawn, with trees in between the HUB and the University Center building - almost like a park ... which is the closest to an identifiable campus-like area.

And today evening, while I walked through it, in search of my own building, I crossed under-grads playing ball, and frisbee, and other students walking along, talking animatedly, and this one guy who was sitting under a tree, playing the guitar and singing songs.

The weather was warm, yet a nice breeze was blowing, ruffling my freshly washed hair, and there was nice music, and it just felt so good.

So I sat down in the grass as well, and listened to him play, and watched the sunshine through the leaves in the trees, and stared dreamily at all the people. With a lap to lie down on, life would be perfect.

Roadside Blues

2007-08-17T00:31:00.000+04:00

So the first thing that has started bothering me about the US is that they drive on the wrong side of the road, so I never know which side to look when I cross !!!

And then you have to worry about not jay-walking, and not standing on the wrong side of the road when you are waiting for a bus, and you have to remember when to pay the driver (its not fixed, it depends on the time of the day, and the direction the bus is going - I think).

Hadn't thought that non-drivers would also get confused about looking left/right first, and then crossing.

Robotics

2007-08-16T03:10:00.000+04:00

So I walk into the Newell Simon building today afternoon, and I see a robot walking (rolling) towards me. It stopped in front of 2 guys ahead of me, and said "would you like some sweets?". It had a tray full of a variety of chocolates (one of each type), and you could ask for a chocolate, and it would recognize what you are asking for, and then you had to pick it up, and show the chocolate to it, and it said "OK" (not sure whether it was learning the types of chocolates, or actually cross-checking whether you took the right chocolate). Superb stuff !!

And did I mention that there is a robo-receptionist here, who doesn't have voice recognition yet, but has NLP capabilities, so you can ask it for "directions to XYZ's office", and it will answer ?

My Hero

2007-08-04T11:10:00.000+04:00

I remember being in seventh standard still.
Watching Yeh Dillagi 10 times. And all the rest of Saif Ali Khan's movies. Even the worst of them were watched again and again.

Watching his bad dancing, and wishing I were dancing with him.
Smuggling bad postcards that cost 1 Rupee and had his photograph on it into school. Punishment for being caught with such a postcard in school was severe, the risk taken was worth the thrill of having your hero in your bag to stare at all through the day.

Day dreaming about him in history and geography class.
Planning to bunk school with Neha Naik, and try and find his house, and stand outside it to get a glimpse of him (she wanted to go to Shahrukh's home). Never found the guts though.

Making weird acronyms that started with SAK(Saif) and SK(Shahrukh), progressing to weird poems with each line starting with S, A and K in succession.
Learning the steps to "Job bhi koi ladki dekhon", the dialogues in his movies, being so jealous of Kajol, cause he loved her, and danced with her, and ...

Refusing to believe that "Main Anari, Tu Khiladi" could be a flop !! Such a great movie !!

Growing up and realizing in 11th what a bad bad actor he was then. :(
And how pathetic he really looked with his girly long hair, and weird dancing steps.
Falling out of love, never to idolize anyone this much ever again. No more heroes.

Noticing a couple of years ago how he has improved, how he looks good now, and acts soo well.
Not falling in love again though. With him or any other "hero".

The days of innocent hero-worship have gone.

Pre-Bye?

2007-07-09T10:42:00.000+04:00

Exactly 1 Month left before I fly to the US of A.
Immunization, shopping, packing, mails, meeting friends, arranging for accomodation, saying good-byes.

Me thinks its all happening much too quickly.

Play With Me

2007-07-08T16:15:00.000+04:00

It started with 'The Island'- someone mentioned that it was an English play playing at Rangashakara, and we decided to go. It was hard to follow at first, hadn't watched many plays before, and as the two guys conversed about digging and filling a sand hole we couldn't see, as they were hit by jailors we had to imagine were there, and as they roamed around wearing their imaginary shackles, I wondered whether I had already lost what was happening. But then one of them announced his release from prison in a month, and they discussed what they missed about life, and how they coped, and suddenly the Island hit me, moved me, and hooked me to plays.

'Exit the King' followed, a story of a king who's dying, and his 2 queens, the young and the old, and shouts of "The King is Dying!!", and "The King is Dead!" Never quite understood what the whole thing represented though.

Girish Karnad's "Flowers" followed, with the priest who loved Shiva's Ling, and cheated on his wife, and loved the courteasan Chandravati, whom he decorated with the Ling's flowers. The king, and the humiliation, and the miracle followed. And the priest defied the Lord's miracles, refused to live a life with God's favors, and left me with questions, but no answers, making it one of my favorite plays.

And then there was Bikhre Bimb, with Arundhati Nag playing the succesful Indian writer with a big hit of an English novel, with her dead crippled sister, and her nice husband, and her own soul in the television, asking her whether it was all worth it.

Kannada play still left to watch though.

Wonderful Weekends

2007-07-01T16:06:00.000+04:00

Saturday was a day of movies - the really crappy 'Fantastic Four', followed by the really nice 'The Chronicle of Nardnia', and another nice movie - 'Bridge To Terebhitia'. And that was followed by some music at Java City, and a nice soup and salad dinner at The Great Wall, and some Hersheys Kisses.

Sunday started with the morning show of Die Hard 4.0, great movie indeed, with some caramel popcorn. Lunch was my favorite - masala pav, then off to Akshay and Archana's place, and then Bhikre Bimb at Rangashankara, which also had pita bread and hummus and a mediterranean salad. And then a rajma-chawal dinner at home.

Hope each weekend is as good, and as fun as this one.

Back to Bangalore

2007-06-27T17:36:00.000+04:00

We left from Darjeeling after breakfast at 9am, and thoroughly enjoyed the 3 hour drive back to Siliguri, along the curving roads, and the breathtaking views. Had a very light lunch at Siliguri, and took a cab to Baghdogra airport, which we reached at 1 pm itself. Baghdogra airport has only 10-12 flights landing/flying from there everyday, so the ground staff has a lot of time on their hands. So they ensure that your hand baggage doesn't have liquids, or umbrellas, or fake knives, and start security check 2 hours before the flight arrival, and even visit the restaurant insie the terminal to ensure that none of the passengers are hanging around there, instead of doing security check. :)

We spent an hour at the airport, cheking out more tea and souvenir shops, and eating some more so that we could hang out in the AC restaurant (the airport itself was not air-conditioned). My flight from Baghdogra to Kolkatta was on time, and uneventful, lasting only 45 minutes, but my onwards flight from Kolkatta to Bangalore was delayed by 2 hours, so I had 4 hours to kill in Kolkata. Everyone I called warned me about the notorious Kolkatta traffic jams, and asked me not ro risk going into the city itself, so I ended up taking a rickshaw to the nearest market, where I roamed around for 30 minutes, before starting to stop passers-by asking them to recommend a restaurant. The first 2 recommendations were really bad, the kind of place where 2 people could have a meal for 30 Rs, till eventually a lady recommended I take a rick to "Gora road, Debonair restaurant", which ended up being airconditioned, and having a band playing live old hindi music.

After a light dinner of just soup, I wandered the markets, and what struck me was that the language barrier was even worse in Kolkata than in Bangalore. In Bangalore, either people speak Kannada, and you know that they are speaking Kannada, or they speak good Hindi/English, which is easy to understand. On the other hand, while talking to people in Kolkata, I couldn't even understand that they were speaking in Hindi, their accent was really bad. I had difficulty even understanding what was the figure quoted by the rickshaw guy to take me back to the airport, and I had to ask him to repeat it 3 times before realizing that he was talking in Hindi after all. The same thing was true for the waiter in the restaurant, the shopkeeper where I tried to buy some jewellery, and the people on the street.

Eventually, I had spent enough time roaming around, and it was time to go back to the airport, and back to Bangalore at 1:30 am, my present home. The holiday was over, but I hope the memories remain.

Darjeeling

2007-06-27T16:58:00.000+04:00

We left from Kurseong to Darjeeling by the 6:00 am toy train, which had a steam engine dragging only 2 coaches, out of which we occupied the whole of the first class coach.

The train covered the 30 km distance in 4 hours, with a speed of 8 kmph - slow enough for a person to jog alongwith the train, and we saw a lot of locals just hop on and off the train while it was still moving. We crossed three small stations on the way, and since the first class coach had been fully reserved for us, the train conductor used to ensure that we were ready to leave before starting the train again :) - at one of the stations, the "whole train" waited while our piping hot samosas and tea was delivered to our coach !! Awesome !

Darjeeling itself looked like any other town, and after the awesome hotel at Kurseong, our hotel at Darjeeling was a disappointment (in spite of being so much more expensive). We freshened up, and left immediately for an early lunch, and then hired a cab to drive us to a tea estate, which was gorgeous. At the tea estate, we were given a tour of the tea factory, by a very friendly guy called Edward. We learnt how tea leaves were softened in cold air for 8 hours, followed by drying in hot air for 4 hours, followed by cleaning, and rolling to release its enzymes, and hot air to dry it further, and give it its color, and finally some sorting is done manually, to remove twigs. Edward had a very cute Nepali accent, which made it very hard to understand what he was saying, and we had to ask him to repeat what he was saying 2-3 times each time :)

After that we roamed around in the tea estate, and fooled around, posing for pics with the typical tea basket on our heads, but then it started to rain, and Edward started getting worried cause his tea basket was not waterproof. We then went to a chai tapari, where we sat down for multiple cups of tea. This tapari was right on the edge of a hill, so we had the most beautiful view of the valley, with the rains, and as we sat and watched, the clouds moved to block our view, and then moved again to unblock it. As I caught glimpses of the greenery, through the soft drizzle, and the hazy white clouds, sitting on a wooden bench, sipping hot tea, I felt at peace, even as I missed everyone who was not there with me.

In the evening, we went shopping, and I bought a lot of tea, but didn't like any of the souvenirs being sold, except for a small pretty pink Japanese fan, which I got for Jisha. We had a "light" dinner of daal, chawal, dahi and curd, and returned back to our hotel to catch some sleep at 11pm, feeling very tired, and a little sad about the end of the last day of this wonderful holiday.

Kurseong

2007-06-25T18:22:00.000+04:00

Our train from Katihar reached NJP at 1pm, and we took a cab from there to take the 9 of us to Kurseong, a hill station 30 kms away from Darjeeling. The journey was beautiful, winding roads, with gorgeous views of the plains that we were leaving behind. The sun and shadows made beautiful contrasts on the scenery, highlighting meadows, and tea gardens, making a picture whose beauty just couldn't be captured on camera.

At Kurseong, we stayed at the Cochrane place, which fits my idea of the perfect hotel. It seems to have been built in British times, and is very cozy and pretty, with a teddy bear on the bed, and a fireplace in every room, and a balcony that overlooked the most beautiful view of Kurseong possible. Cocharne place also has a beautiful drawing room, with antique furniture in the middle of a green garden, and an amazing tea bar, with windows shaped like tea pots, serving some 100 varieties of black and milk tea. And they serve a candlelight dinner, with live piano music in the background. Absolutely prefect !

In the evening at Kurseong, we went for a short walk in the mountains - through green shrubs and trees, and pretty views of the valleys. The only sad part was that when we reached back, we realized that all of us had leeches on us, sucking our blood. And after I removed the leeches I found on me, I realized that the blood wouldn't stop flowing thanks to the anticoagulants that the leech would have injected in my blood. Very creepy. And I ended up having my 5th bath in 2 days to make sure that I didn't have any more leeches on me.

After the most amazing day at Kurseong, we slept very late at around 12 am, only to wake up at 4:45 am the next day, for our onward trip to Darjeeling. More coming up very soon :)

Akshat's Wedding

2007-06-25T17:54:00.000+04:00

5 of us from IRL flew from Delhi to Baghdogra, which is the military airport of Siliguri. Saw 2 MIGs landing, just after our plane landed, and we also walked by a Pavan Hans helicopter while walking from the plane to the airport.

Akshat had sent a driver to pick us up for the 3.5 hours drive to Purnea, most of which was on NH 31, parts of which are still under construction. So we alternated between nice 4-lane road and dirt road every couple of kilometers. Our driver assured us that in 2010 the whole highway construction will be done, and the whole road will be converted into 6 lanes. But what struck me was that when we were driving on the smoother parts of the roads, we could see that 2 lanes had been taken over by the farmers, to spread corn on the road to let it dry. We are building roads which are serving as drying areas for agricultural products. India rocks !

We reached Purnea at around 6:30 pm, and got a quick tour of Akshat's house - very big, very pretty, complete with a grand circular staircase to the upper floors, a backyard with a vegetable garden and a lush green lawn and a pond with lotus flowers in the front yard. After the tour, we went quickly to the hotel room, got dressed for the Baraat, and reached back to Akshat's place just in time.

We had big plans for dancing in the baraat, but it was soo humid, that within around 20 minutes, we were all wet with sweat, and panting, but even those 20 minutes were a lot of fun !! It has been a really long time since I have been part of a baraat, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Of course, later I felt dehydrated, and had to keep drinking all the varieties of drinks that were being offered, from shikanji, to lassi, to pepsi to grape juice to badam milk, and many others.

The wedding itself was beautiful - the tikka rituals started at 1am, and the actual wedding started only at 3. Akshat had kept us in charge of his 'joote', and of course, Balaji came up with the superb idea to sell the 'joote' to Vimmi's sister, for 50% of the money - the bargaining lasted almost an hour, and was superb fun !
The 'phere' were very cute, with Vimmi walking in the front, and Akshat behind, with his arms around her waist - looked very sweet.

We left the wedding hall at 5 am, when some ritual was still going on, with the priest making designs on Akshat and Vimmi's feet with alta. Went to the hotel room, slept for all of 15 minutes, and left for Katihar station, to catch our train to NJP - New Jalpaiguri.

More about that later.

Delhi Home

2007-06-25T14:57:00.000+04:00

I left Bangalore on Wednesday night for Delhi, and went back to my old Delhi home. Met Kudrat, and her new flatmate Seema, who is now living in my room. Seema still has my 2 mattresses, with the bedsheet my grandmom had gifted me still spread on it, and my old pillows are also lying there. The curtains from my grandmom's house are still there, so is the poster I bought, and so are the buckets in the bathroom, and the utensils I didn't take along in the kitchen. Even the pretty candles that I had bought for Diwali were still lying on the fridge where I had left them.

Felt a big deja vu, like I hadn't left Delhi at all, still stayed there, still went to Sardarji ka dhaba for dinner with Akshat, and to Big Chill for comfort food, whenever I felt depressed. Kudrat and I sat on the terrace, with tea in my hand, talking about life, about office, and it felt just the same. We laughed, we cribbed about everything, and discussed her cooking skills, and everything else under the sun.

Slept very late at 3:30 am, got up at 8, hurriedly got dressed, and left for the airport, to go to Purnea, Bihar for Akshat's wedding.

But thats another blog post.

I Blush

2007-06-20T10:04:00.000+04:00

I-blush is the new "product" by Ponds, that "helps you get the pink glow of blushing, and smoothened soft cheeks naturally".

Their site asks women to talk about when they blush, and of course, they can mail their "blush moment" to their boyfriend as well.

There are entries like

"When in the middle of a conversation, he suddenyl says i love u"

, and

"when i was hanging with ma frendz, he sudenly came and sat near 2 me, n i realisesed that he is near 2 me after haf an hour"

, and

"when he huged me and kised me like anything"

Of course, there is this review of the site., that commends i-blush for being so "simple", unlike Sunsilk gang-of-Girls*, which has high expectations from us stupid women :

Sunsilk gang of girls had also started beautifully using excellent ads, but where they really lost out was asking girls to shoot videos and put them up online.
How many girls are comfortable with Video cameras or possess handy cams?
How many of them know how to transfer the video from the camera/phone on to the computer?
How many of them understand different formats? 3gp, Mpeg, avi etc?
How many of them will take actually the pains to shoot, transfer, edit and upload a video.
What were they trying to achieve???
Ponds on the other hand have kept it very simple

Yup, we poor women, who don't know anything.

*To clarify, I think Sunsilk's site is as bad, with women talking in the parlor, and stuff, but at least they don't want women to want to look pretty while blushing for their boyfriends.